Again it has been almost a month since my last blog post. I have been doing a few things with my small business, made a few cards and gifts and even wrote a real estate description with the potential for more work on the way!
However, nothing big enough to justify my absence or the fact that I haven’t written anything substantial since January.
The truth is, I think I’ve lost my way.
Since returning from Budapest twelve months ago, I’ve found it a struggle to not only to find the time to write, but also to find the motivation. Things in Budapest were so much simpler, without the school drop-off and pick-up, without the alarms, without the interruptions that day-to-day life as a family of five.
All of these things drain my creativity, my motivation.
In Budapest I didn’t have to worry about driving multiple hours a day commuting for work or getting the children to and from school.
I know this is reality, but why does it have to be like this? Why does reality put so much strain on people? What ever happened to family time? To time just to sit back and smell the flowers? It seems that more and more people and families are experiencing a life of working dawn to dusk, almost every day of the week and it’s not even so they can try and get ahead a little, people have to work these ridiculous hours just to make ends meet, trying to make it stretch that little bit further until their next payday. Sacrificing time with their families, children, loved ones.
There’s a difference between living and surviving, at the moment most families are simply surviving and only just for many of them.
So when this is the reality for so many families, it’s a wonder that creativity still exists in the world of overworked, over-stressed and overstretched finances.
I know what you’re thinking. If you’re one of my fellow creatives, you’ll be saying to me to find the time, to chase the motivation and inspiration and I completely agree with you, in fact I’ve written about that type of thing before, about not waiting for the inspiration to strike, but to chase after it.
“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.”
I still believe this, completely and wholeheartedly. However there are times when you find it almost impossible to give chase.
This is where I am now.
I’m lost in a world I’m not sure I belong in and I’m struggling to find my way.
I need to change, to find a place where we belong, not just for me, but for my family. A place where we can slow down, take a step back from reality every now and then and just be, without worrying how much damage the next utility bill is going to make.
I think I’ve found that place, at least I hope I have.
I might have lost my way with my writing, but it doesn’t mean I have given up. Every day I wake up, determined to find my way, to find which road to take, to get to the place I need to go, where WE need to go, to find the place my family needs to be.
Until we reach the next destination, I will continue my search and I will strive to find what I’ve lost.
Until then, here are a few random thoughts I’ve put together in a rough piece of writing called “The Journey of a Writer.”
The Journey of a Writer
The journey of a writer is a twisted one.
The road is never straight,
There are many twists and turns and forks in the road.
It’s hard to know which road to take,
Sometimes we choose well, other times not.
These are the times when we learn the most.
We learn about ourselves, our craft, our journey.
Sometimes we lose our way,
But the constant search for the right path to take drives us on.
Our journey takes us to many destinations,
But we do not know them until we arrive.
Yes, the journey of a writer is a twisted one.
The road is never straight.
But the journey of a writer is also an endless one,
Which we will travel all our lives.
-Katherine A. Kovács
© Katherine A. Kovács and The Writer Within, (2013-2017). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Katherine A. Kovács and The Writer Within with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.