What an amazing but also difficult week it has been! The words are flowing! I’ve finally gotten to a point in the story where I know what is happening next and the only problem is finding enough hours to get the words out. It hasn’t been easy to get to this point, sometimes the river flows slowly, sometimes it is fast and now I’ve got the raging rapids as I make my way through the ups and downs of József and Anna’s story.
Not only did I completely smash this months word-count goal with an extra 5,000 words (and it’s not event he end of the month yet!), but also I have had the chance to write not only some of the happiest scenes I’ve written, but also some of the most heartbreaking scenes as well. I’ll be honest, I was sort of (definitely) ugly crying as I wrote one of the most difficult and heartbreaking scenes I have ever written, I may have also broken the hearts of my Beta readers as well when I sent them this month’s updated version of An Anguished Heart, but in the word of Robert Frost:
“No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader.”
I think one reason I have been powering through this part of the story and staying up until 3 a.m several nights in a row, is because I need to keep the momentum and feeling of anguish, loss and devastation that my characters are feeling at this point, one moment they are blissfully happy newlyweds and the next….things aren’t quite blissful.
It’s never easy writing those sort of scenes, but it is often necessary in order for the characters to grow and change. I know that the characters are not the same people as when I started this story, they’ve grown and changed and their experiences they have had so far are shaping the people they will become, just like in life.
I’m not going to share the details of the events that caused such grief and devastation for József and Anna, that’s something I’d like to keep to myself for a while. I will share with you some of the feelings Anna is having in the aftermath though, when she is full of grief and despair, struggling to pick herself up and start again.
I hope over the next few weeks the river continues to flow in the white water rapids that my writing is lately. I have pages of notes on all the upcoming events, the only problem I have now is finding enough hours to get it written while still getting enough hours sleep! So fingers crossed!
I wish I was stronger, I wish I had the strength to pick myself up and start again, but I don’t. All I want is to lie here and pray for the pain to end and hope that József has enough strength for the both of us. -Anna, An Anguished Heart.
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