Not Quite an Introvert, Too Shy to be an Extrovert

Hello Lovelies,

I’ve been thinking about doing a post like this for a while, a sort of “get to know me” post for the followers who only know me by my work and through this blog. I’ve been trying to find the word or words to sum up my personality and it is actually a lot more difficult than I thought it would be.

Society, social media and other forms of interaction lead us to believe that their are mainly to types of people in this world, some who are introverts and some who are extroverts.However, while trying to figure out which side of the fence to place myself I came across another word, “ambivert”.

According to Merriam-Webster, an ambivert is “a person having characteristics of both extrovert and introvert”, with the first known use of the word being in 1927. With this in mind, I came up with some reasons why ambivert is the word for me.

  • I’m shy and tend to hold back, but  not always – As a child all of my school reports would say something along the lines of, “Katherine is a shy but conscientious student, who does well in class but would benefit more from participating in classroom discussions.” Most of the time, I was the quiet kid, I probably knew the answer but I wasn’t comfortable talking in front of the class and would often think it would be much easier if I was invisible. Around my friends and family though, I was a totally different person I was loud and a bit of a clown, probably kind of annoying too.
  • I don’t like talking on the phone, unless it’s someone I  know really well- It’s true, even to this day I try to avoid talking on the phone to people unless it’s my family or one of my best friends. Before I moved out of home, I would practically beg my mum to call the hairdresser to make an appointment for me, even though my hairdresser was still the same one that did my first haircut as a baby. The thought of someone else answering the phone completely freaked me out. Even now, the thought of having to call someone I don’t know on the phone makes me incredibly anxious and I avoid it if I can, email and text are my greatest tools! I’m not joking though, talking to a stranger on the phone is really not something I like to do, I feel anxious before and I stumble over most of my words and most of the time end up sounding like a complete moron. If it’s my mum or a best friend though, I can talk for hours!
  • I’m the quiet one, but it’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for – In unfamiliar surroundings I am the quiet person who smiles politely is necessary and speaks only when spoken to, I’m not the one who starts conversations or takes the lead. I don’t really enjoy meeting new people, not in person anyway. When I’m with my family and friends though, I have been known to be quite outgoing and can actually become the centre of attention and not completely freak out and I admit that sometimes I may not always on my best bahaviour. It all comes down to being with people I know and feeling comfortable with my surroundings. On the topic of meeting new people though, I have found that social media is a great way to connect with fellow writers without the pressure on meeting new people in person.
  • I like to be left alone, but not always – I don’t mind being left alone to my own devices, as a matter of fact I actually prefer it most of the time. It gives me time to think, time to reflect and to develop my characters in my busy little mind. Sometimes though I just need a little company and need someone to talk to and bounce my ideas off. The reality of it is though, I have a husband and three children so time alone is usually found in the wee hours of the morning, coincidentally this is also the time when I do my best writing and come up with most of my ideas.
  • I prefer to stay home, but sometimes I just want to go out – I am kind of a homebody, I don’t see anything wrong with wearing pajamas all day at home and then showering and putting on new pajamas for bed. I like watching TV, movies and binge watching my some of my favourite TV series and of course I love just settling down with a good book. Sometimes though, I just need to get out and do something, usually it’s when they kids are getting cabin fever or I am trying to escape from the housework.
  • I am not socially confident, but have been known to be the “life of the party”- It’s true that I am not a socially confident person, I’m actually the awkward one who tries to blend into the background, but given the right crowd (usually friends and family) I can be the life of the party and have been known to sing karaoke, while breaking out some awesome dance moves and having a go at some impromptu stand-up comedy, even without the use of alcohol.
  • I don’t like being the centre of attention, but I became a teacher and I enjoy performing- That’s right, I hate being the centre of attention, it makes me nervous and anxious to say the least, however I am a teacher by profession and have also performed musically and theatrically (I’m much better at music than I am an actress). For some reason I can handle being up in front of a class of thirty or so students, but if it was a different situation I would probably avoid it at all costs and try my best to become invisible.

I’m not quite an introvert and I’m too shy to be an extrovert, depending on the company I can steer more one way or the other. Most of the time though, I’m the one sitting on the fence holding back until it’s my turn to shine. So I guess that makes me an ambivert, which is interesting, considering that I am also ambidextrous.

I guess in one way or another, everyone is an ambivert in some way, especially when there is a change in a person’s social surroundings.

So this is me, shy and socially awkward, but the life of the party. Outgoing but holding back. I’m an ambidextrous ambivert and I’m a writer.

On another note, I connected with the talented author Julieann Dove. Recently Julieann had her first novel Waking Amy published and it was released on the 23rd of this month. I’ve already finished reading Julieann’s debut novel, in fact I couldn’t put it down and found myself reading just one more (or five) chapter in the wee hours of the morning! Here’s the synopsis straight from Julieann’s blog which you can find here:

Amy Whitfield is blindsided when she comes home and finds a note on the fridge from her husband, Wesley, stating that after four years of marriage, he’s leaving her. Amy was in the midst of trying to spice things up, to bring life back to their boring marriage. It seems now that she was too late.

As Amy sits with her head between her knees, trying to figure out what to do next, a call comes from Mercer General Hospital. The ER nurse is telling Amy’s answering machine that Wesley has been in a car accident.

When Amy arrives at the hospital, she finds her husband in a coma. The doctors say there is no sign of brain damage, and Wesley will eventually wake up. Relieved, Amy sees this as her second chance: the chance to get it right this time. To channel the girl Wesley won’t leave when he regains consciousness… She just needs some help to pull it off. After all, she was voted girl most likely to die a virgin in high school.

Amy would never figure on getting that help from Mark Reilly…Wesley’s doctor! He’s a non-committer, too-cute-for-his-own-good bachelor, and completely the guy Amy begins falling for. It’s a race against time to see who wakes up first—Amy or her husband. *

So do yourselves a favour, head over to Amazon and one-click Waking Amy now!

This book is the first book in a series and part two is due out in April, so we don’t have to wait long to find out how Amy’s story continues.

Congratulations Julieann on an amazing debut novel, I can’t wait for part 2 of Amy’s story!

On another congratulatory note (this time it’s self-congratulations) I totally kicked procrastination arse two months in a row and already met this month’s word-count goal a week ago! I’ll try and share a little sneak peek with you all next week.

So from this ambidextrous ambivert….




*Waking Amy synopsis retrieved from 

© Katherine A. Kovács and The Writer Within, (2013-2016). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Katherine A. Kovács and The Writer Within with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

11 thoughts on “Not Quite an Introvert, Too Shy to be an Extrovert

  1. Katherine, after reading this…I find you completely adjusted on all accounts! In a perfect world there are no labels, no judging, and no need to size ourselves up against anyone else. I’m happy for the person you are–perfectly you! I think we all balance one another out. Whereas you would be at a party not talking, I’d feel drawn to come and talk to you. Even being strangers. I don’t necessarily like to be approached, but I love introducing myself and talking to quiet people. We even one another out! And that’s why the world works. 🙂 I am so overwhelmed by your support for my book, I’d like to call you over to my house and enjoy a cup of tea and discuss your own work. Congrats, by the way for the word count. Keep it up! I want to be the one on the front line, cheering you on, when your work goes public!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Julieann! You always know just what to say and you’re right, somehow we all do seem to balance each other out 😊 Congratulations again on Waking Amy, I really did enjoy it, I wouldn’t say so if it wasn’t true!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my word! I think we might be twins! All the points that you mentioned relate completely to me too! My MBTI personality type is INFP (Introversion, INtuition, Feeling, Perceiving) But I have some extroverted tendencies. So I feel that I too, am an ambivert =) Great post Katherine! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for taking the time to comment.It’s great you were able to relate to this post, it means I wasn’t writing total rubbish and it actually made sense 😊 Before writing this post I had never actually come across the word ambivert before, but it’s the perfect word for those who don’t completely relate to being described as an introvert or extrovert.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re very welcome! x) Haha, I know what you mean XD Sometimes I feel like I’m writing posts just to clear my own head and hope somebody gets something from it =P Sometimes its hard being an Ambivert though…when you feel extroverted one moment and then need to get away when you feel introverted the next….Some people just don’t understand =O Good to “meet” a fellow ambivert! =)

        Liked by 1 person

    1. yup, after a while when the split ends got too much, I put on my big girl pants and called myself. I won’t lie though, it still made me anxious I just did it because I had no other choice 🙂


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