Not Quite an Introvert, Too Shy to be an Extrovert

Hello Lovelies,

I’ve been thinking about doing a post like this for a while, a sort of “get to know me” post for the followers who only know me by my work and through this blog. I’ve been trying to find the word or words to sum up my personality and it is actually a lot more difficult than I thought it would be.

Society, social media and other forms of interaction lead us to believe that their are mainly to types of people in this world, some who are introverts and some who are extroverts.However, while trying to figure out which side of the fence to place myself I came across another word, “ambivert”.

According to Merriam-Webster, an ambivert is “a person having characteristics of both extrovert and introvert”, with the first known use of the word being in 1927. With this in mind, I came up with some reasons why ambivert is the word for me.

  • I’m shy and tend to hold back, but  not always – As a child all of my school reports would say something along the lines of, “Katherine is a shy but conscientious student, who does well in class but would benefit more from participating in classroom discussions.” Most of the time, I was the quiet kid, I probably knew the answer but I wasn’t comfortable talking in front of the class and would often think it would be much easier if I was invisible. Around my friends and family though, I was a totally different person I was loud and a bit of a clown, probably kind of annoying too.
  • I don’t like talking on the phone, unless it’s someone I  know really well- It’s true, even to this day I try to avoid talking on the phone to people unless it’s my family or one of my best friends. Before I moved out of home, I would practically beg my mum to call the hairdresser to make an appointment for me, even though my hairdresser was still the same one that did my first haircut as a baby. The thought of someone else answering the phone completely freaked me out. Even now, the thought of having to call someone I don’t know on the phone makes me incredibly anxious and I avoid it if I can, email and text are my greatest tools! I’m not joking though, talking to a stranger on the phone is really not something I like to do, I feel anxious before and I stumble over most of my words and most of the time end up sounding like a complete moron. If it’s my mum or a best friend though, I can talk for hours!
  • I’m the quiet one, but it’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for – In unfamiliar surroundings I am the quiet person who smiles politely is necessary and speaks only when spoken to, I’m not the one who starts conversations or takes the lead. I don’t really enjoy meeting new people, not in person anyway. When I’m with my family and friends though, I have been known to be quite outgoing and can actually become the centre of attention and not completely freak out and I admit that sometimes I may not always on my best bahaviour. It all comes down to being with people I know and feeling comfortable with my surroundings. On the topic of meeting new people though, I have found that social media is a great way to connect with fellow writers without the pressure on meeting new people in person.
  • I like to be left alone, but not always – I don’t mind being left alone to my own devices, as a matter of fact I actually prefer it most of the time. It gives me time to think, time to reflect and to develop my characters in my busy little mind. Sometimes though I just need a little company and need someone to talk to and bounce my ideas off. The reality of it is though, I have a husband and three children so time alone is usually found in the wee hours of the morning, coincidentally this is also the time when I do my best writing and come up with most of my ideas.
  • I prefer to stay home, but sometimes I just want to go out – I am kind of a homebody, I don’t see anything wrong with wearing pajamas all day at home and then showering and putting on new pajamas for bed. I like watching TV, movies and binge watching my some of my favourite TV series and of course I love just settling down with a good book. Sometimes though, I just need to get out and do something, usually it’s when they kids are getting cabin fever or I am trying to escape from the housework.
  • I am not socially confident, but have been known to be the “life of the party”- It’s true that I am not a socially confident person, I’m actually the awkward one who tries to blend into the background, but given the right crowd (usually friends and family) I can be the life of the party and have been known to sing karaoke, while breaking out some awesome dance moves and having a go at some impromptu stand-up comedy, even without the use of alcohol.
  • I don’t like being the centre of attention, but I became a teacher and I enjoy performing- That’s right, I hate being the centre of attention, it makes me nervous and anxious to say the least, however I am a teacher by profession and have also performed musically and theatrically (I’m much better at music than I am an actress). For some reason I can handle being up in front of a class of thirty or so students, but if it was a different situation I would probably avoid it at all costs and try my best to become invisible.

I’m not quite an introvert and I’m too shy to be an extrovert, depending on the company I can steer more one way or the other. Most of the time though, I’m the one sitting on the fence holding back until it’s my turn to shine. So I guess that makes me an ambivert, which is interesting, considering that I am also ambidextrous.

I guess in one way or another, everyone is an ambivert in some way, especially when there is a change in a person’s social surroundings.

So this is me, shy and socially awkward, but the life of the party. Outgoing but holding back. I’m an ambidextrous ambivert and I’m a writer.

On another note, I connected with the talented author Julieann Dove. Recently Julieann had her first novel Waking Amy published and it was released on the 23rd of this month. I’ve already finished reading Julieann’s debut novel, in fact I couldn’t put it down and found myself reading just one more (or five) chapter in the wee hours of the morning! Here’s the synopsis straight from Julieann’s blog which you can find here:

Amy Whitfield is blindsided when she comes home and finds a note on the fridge from her husband, Wesley, stating that after four years of marriage, he’s leaving her. Amy was in the midst of trying to spice things up, to bring life back to their boring marriage. It seems now that she was too late.

As Amy sits with her head between her knees, trying to figure out what to do next, a call comes from Mercer General Hospital. The ER nurse is telling Amy’s answering machine that Wesley has been in a car accident.

When Amy arrives at the hospital, she finds her husband in a coma. The doctors say there is no sign of brain damage, and Wesley will eventually wake up. Relieved, Amy sees this as her second chance: the chance to get it right this time. To channel the girl Wesley won’t leave when he regains consciousness… She just needs some help to pull it off. After all, she was voted girl most likely to die a virgin in high school.

Amy would never figure on getting that help from Mark Reilly…Wesley’s doctor! He’s a non-committer, too-cute-for-his-own-good bachelor, and completely the guy Amy begins falling for. It’s a race against time to see who wakes up first—Amy or her husband. *

So do yourselves a favour, head over to Amazon and one-click Waking Amy now!

This book is the first book in a series and part two is due out in April, so we don’t have to wait long to find out how Amy’s story continues.

Congratulations Julieann on an amazing debut novel, I can’t wait for part 2 of Amy’s story!

On another congratulatory note (this time it’s self-congratulations) I totally kicked procrastination arse two months in a row and already met this month’s word-count goal a week ago! I’ll try and share a little sneak peek with you all next week.

So from this ambidextrous ambivert….

Enjoy,

KK

 

*Waking Amy synopsis retrieved from www.julieanndove.com 

© Katherine A. Kovács and The Writer Within, (2013-2016). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Katherine A. Kovács and The Writer Within with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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Loss and Legacy

Hello Lovelies,

This year has been had a much better start to it for me, than the entire of last year. However, sadly it has also seen the loss of a number of great patrons of the Arts, most recently with the passing of the Pulitzer Prize winning author of “To Kill a Mockingbird”, Harper Lee.

With the passing of so many prominent people, in such a short length of time, it got me thinking. There is no denying that the loss of these people is not only a great loss and source of sadness and grief for their friends and family, but a loss felt by a worldwide community. What these people leave behind for us to cherish forever is one of the greatest gifts of all. Their legacy, the great things they have done, their contribution to the Arts and to society.

So for this post, I would like to take a moment to honour these great patrons of the Arts that have passed in 2016, the writers, the musicians, the actors and highlight that even though their loss will be forever felt, their legacy will be forever in existence. This is no way a complete list, just a few people who have left their mark on the world. Some of these people were very well known at the time of their passing, some not as well known but all have left their mark on the world, left behind their legacy.

David Bowie (8 January 1947 – 10 January 2016)

Born as David Robert Jones in Brixton, London, England. David Bowie has undoubtedly left behind quite a legacy. Musician, actor, record producer, he has been called both a “star and an icon” and a “pioneer of glam rock.” The news of his passing resulted in worldwide mourning, his contribution to music, theatre and film will live on forever. This is his legacy.

For more information on David Bowie visit Wikipedia or his Official Website

Harper Lee (April 28, 1926 – February 19, 2016)

The passing of author Harper Lee is what prompted me to write this post, as I said above. Prior to the release of Lee’s latest work “Go Set a Watchman”, I did not know much about the Pulitzer Price winning author and did a little research and reflection on the impact of her most famous work “To Kill a Mockingbird” which you can read in my post “Best Novel of the 20th Century”.  Born as Nelle Harper Lee in Monroeville, Alabama, she was much more than an American Novelist. Her most famous work “To Kill a Mockingbird”, which was actually her first published novel, will always be listed among the greatest novels of all-time, a story of racism and the attitudes of adults in the deep south as seen through the eyes of children, the character of Atticus Finch, the level and fair-minded lawyer who defends the falsely accused Tom Robinson. “To Kill a Mockingbird” will ensure that her her name will forever be immortalised in history as an accomplished author and great contributor to the world of literature. This is her legacy.

Read more about Harper Lee’s life on Wikipedia or on her Official Page

Vilmos Zsigmond (June 16, 1930 – January 1, 2016)

This is one name you may not have heard of and the passing of this person was not widely publicised in the media. You may however have heard of films such as Deliverance (1972), The Long Goodbye (1973), Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) or perhaps The Witches of Eastwick (1987) or Assassins (1995). All these films (and many more) were the work of Hungarian-born American cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmond, who has been listed as one of the top ten most influential cinematographers in history. He has been awarded and nominated for Oscars, BAFTA, Emmy Awards as well as being awarded three life-time achievement awards from the American Society of Cinematographers, Manaki Brothers Film Festival and the Cannes Film Festival. Vilmos Zsigmond may not be a name that most people recognise and his passing may not of been trending on Twitter or Facebook, but through his work in the film industry, his work,  his films, his art will forever live on. The contribution he has made to the art of cinematography will forever endure. This is his legacy.

Learn more about his life and work from Wikipedia

Frank Armitage  (5 September 1924 – 4 January 2016)

Another name on this list that may not be familiar, however you may have seen Frank’s work in many Walt Disney Films such as Lady and the Tramp, Peter Pan, Sleeping Beauty, Mary Poppins and The Jungle Book. You see, Frank Armitage was an Australian-born American painter and muralist who worked for Walt Disney for a considerable part of his career, painting the backgrounds for some of Disney’s most notable feature-length films. Not only can his work be seen on film, but his work also features in some of the world’s Disney theme parks. Frank’s work will forever life on,giving a world of life and colour to the wonderful creations of Disney, brightening the worlds of children for years to come. This is his legacy.

Learn more about his life and work from Wikipedia

Otis Clay  (February 11, 1942 – January 8, 2016)

Otis Clay is one you might have heard of, he was an American R & B and Soul singer and inductee of the Blues Hall of Fame. Otis will probably be remembered for one of his most popular singles “The Only Way is Up”, click here to refresh your memory. In his lifetime Otis had many chart-topping hits and received a significant number of awards and nominations. Otis may longer be in this world, but his music forever will be. This is his legacy.

Learn more about him from Wikipedia or from his Official Page

 

Alan Rickman  (21 February 1946 – 14 January 2016)

Earlier this year, the world mourned the loss of veteran actor and director Alan Rickman. Alan played many different roles throughout his career but I will always remember him by the role that I grew up with him playing, the professor of potions at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry -Severus Snape. Now I’m not here to argue whether the character was a villian or hero, this is not the time or the post to argue that, I am however acknowledging the depth Alan brought to this character, he brought this character out of the pages of books, the minds of readers and brought our favourite professor to hate (and sometimes love) to life on the screen. No matter how small or significant of a role Alan played, he always performed at his best, giving it his all. His contribution to film will never be forgotten, the characters he brought to life forever present. Even though I have seen many different films that Alan was in, for me I will forever see him as Professor Severus Snape, the lonely heartbroken boy who became a rather complicated man. Professor Severus Snape will life on forever through Alan’s magnificent portrayal. This is his legacy.

Learn more about his life and career on Wikipedia

Now I put forth these questions: what will your legacy be? What will be the mark you leave on the world? It doesn’t matter whether if your legacy is something to leave with your family and friends or something for the world, whatever it might be make sure you live your life to the fullest, you only get one chance after all…

Enjoy,

KK

© Katherine A. Kovács and The Writer Within, (2013-2016). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Katherine A. Kovács and The Writer Within with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

*Facts and information compiled from Wikipedia

 

Great Loves

Kumar's edit valentine pic Flickr CC
Image courtesy of Flickr CC user Kumar’s Edit

Hello Lovelies,

For this week’s post I thought I’d share with you some of the great loves of my life, in honour of it being Valentine’s Day.

So in no particular order, here is a list of my life’s great loves:

  • My Husband: for some reason, I thought I’d better include my husband as a part of this list, just in case he happens to reads my blog one of these days. Imagine the size of the doghouse I’d be in if I didn’t include my significant other on a list of great loves. So, what is it I love about him? I don’t think I could really tell you exactly what it is that makes me want to love him. It’s a combination of things, I suppose, like his good looks, muscular physique and super hot Hungarian accent (I may or may not be trying to get some brownie points here), as well as everything we have been through together. I love it when he speaks Hungarian to be by accident, even though I don’t always understand what he is saying. Anyone who tells you that French is the “language of love” is surely mistaken or obviously has not had someone speak Hungarian to them before. I also love to made fun of him when he mispronounces English words (sorry, but it is quite funny). Luckily he is kinder than  I am and he doesn’t laugh when I mispronounce Hungarian words (which is quite often). Oh and he also used to be a baker, so that leads to my next great love….
  • Food: No matter how often I say I am going to eat “healthy” and lose the baby weight (my youngest is now 3!), I still end up eating every delicious morsel of food in sight. I really do want to be good and eat healthier, but I just cannot resist the apple pie begging me to eat it or the delicious kürtöskalács calling to me at the metro station. Luckily we have been walking a lot while we’ve been in Budapest, because otherwise I think I would have to be rolled down the street and I don;t think I would be able to climb the four flights of stairs up to our apartment, there really is too much delicious food in Hungary. After eating and walking around Budapest, we come to my next great love….
  • Nap Time: I am not a morning person at all, seriously don’t talk to me before 10 am unless you want me to stab you in the eye with an ice pick. I am very much a night person and can quite easily stay up until the wee-hours of the morning. However when one stays up until the wee-hours of the morning but then has a 3 year old and 5 year old waking up at 7:30 in the morning (the 8 year old will sleep until you literally drag her out of bed), nap-time is one of my most favourite times of day, the only problem is the kids don’t always cooperate, only the 3 year old will sometimes have a nap with me…
  • My children: “Have kids,” they said, “It’ll be fun” they said. It’s not always fun and games being a mother of three children, it’s stressful, exhausting and sometimes you pretend to go to the toilet just for a moment’s peace. It doesn’t work though, they tend to follow you in and ask what you’re doing, to which my answer is, “What does it look like I’m doing?” Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change anything for all the money (or food) in the world, but it’s not as easy or “fun” as some people think. All the worry, frustration and exhaustion melts away though when your three year old says, “I yub (love) you mummy” or when you see the excitement on their faces when you give them something as seemingly insignificant as a balloon. No be a mother of three is not always easy, but it is worth every sacrifice, every moment of frustration and every ounce of exhaustion for the unconditional love between parent and child.
  • Writing: Yes, of course writing is on the list. Although writing is one of my great loves, writing is kind of similar to being a parent of three children; it’s exhausting, frustrating and stressful, but it’s still worth it. Creating and exploring new worlds, new characters, new times. Nothing beats the feeling you get from exploring and creating, the sense of accomplishment and satisfaction when you finish another chapter, another scene. Yes, writing is one of my great loves, but it still doesn’t stop procrastination from rearing it’s ugly time wasting head!
  • My Family:  Besides my husband and children, I have quite a large family. I only have one brother but now he has his own little family which includes my 8 month old nephew, so our overall family is always getting bigger. They say you can choose your friends but not your family so I guess I’m stuck with them (or they’re stuck with me) for better or for worse, hahaha. My family are also some of my biggest supporters. Some may have noticed that my mum and grandmother are among my top commenters on this blog and my dad (who’s a self-confessed non-reader, unless it’s some sort of instruction booklet) has read the first few chapters of An Anguished Heart and then enjoyed it so much he has even offered to help proof read it. So I guess they must love me at least a little and I suppose I love them too, most of the time anyway.
  • My Friends: Like I said above, you can choose your friends but not your family and the friends I have are also like family, they may have chosen to be friends in the beginning but after more than twenty years I think it’s safe to say they’re more like family… and they’re stuck with me! One friend in particular, who I’ve spoken about quite a few times on this blog, has always been my number one supporter when it came to my creative pursuits and she is now my newly recruited butt-kicker when it comes to getting me to meet my monthly word count. I was significantly behind for this month’s word-count, but after she read last week’s post she quickly sent me a butt-kicking email which then resulted in me writing 3,000 words in one sitting as well as some research and additional hand-written notes. So thanks for that butt-kicking BFF!

There you have it, some of my great loves, there’s more but I think I’ve already bored you all enough. I might try and get a little closer to my word-count goal instead.

Wishing you all a happy Valentine’s Day!

Be sure to tell (and show) your loved ones you care, but don’t be like the couple my eight year old spotted in the park.  The couple who were kissing quite “passionately” shall we say, in broad daylight, with kids running around. Because apparently that is “yucky” and kids don’t want to see that, they just want to get to the playground without being scarred for life.

Enjoy,

KK

© Katherine A. Kovács and The Writer Within, (2013-2016). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Katherine A. Kovács and The Writer Within with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Chilly Travelling

Hello Lovelies,

I’m the kind of girl who prefers winter over summer, especially if there is snow involved! Just think about it, in winter it’s cold, this is true, but it’s nothing that a good jacket won’t fix or perhaps a jacket, jumper, two pairs of pants, beanie, gloves and scarf won’t fix. However, in Summer there are only so many clothes you can remove, before you’re arrested for indecent exposure. Especially in the Australian summers that I am used to, it wouldn’t matter if you were completely naked, you would still be sweating your arse off every time you step out of an air-conditioned building.

Most people think of the Australian summer is all beachy and beautiful, this is not the reality. Summer in Australia is usually like this: Sweat everywhere as soon as you step outside, getting third degree burns on the soles of your feet if you try to run in bare foot on concrete, trying to cool down by going for a swim only then to realise that the pool water is the same temperature as a bath after a week of 40+ degrees Celsius days. I know winter isn’t all fun in the snow, but I still prefer it over summer.

However, something needs to be said about going out-and-about with three kids in winter time, it’s not an easy feat, let me tell you that, especially when using public transport.

Some of you may know that I am the mother of three children, my daughter is 8 and my boys are aged 5 and 3. Before coming to Budapest, they had never been on public transport before, not only is public transport in Australia expensive and unreliable, unless you really have to. It is actually easier to drive and even pay for parking, especially with three kids. In Australia I drive an SUV, because we needed something large enough to fit in three children’s car seats at the time, but I live in the suburbs and am not a fan of driving in the city, only doing it when necessary. When deciding to relocate to Budapest for an extended time though, I came to accept the fact that I probably would not be driving here. Even though I love my car and the convenience of simply putting the kids in and off we go, I was totally OK with not driving in Budapest. Not only is it a capital city, but they also drive on the opposite side of the road to Australia, something that still confuses the heck out of me after being here for four months and petrol is ridiculously expensive, especially considering the average wages here. So, with public transport being so reliable and cheap (less than $50AUD for unlimited public transport within Budapest for the month), it was no competition.

The children love going on all the trams, buses, subways, trains and boats, it still excites them after four months of public transport. There is a downside to this in winter though.

WP_20160125_12_28_20_Pro__highres
It’s not that cold, really. Image Copyright Katherine A. Kovàcs.

First of all let me describe to you how it is to get three children ready to venture outside in the middle of winter. It takes us about two hours to even get out the door, by the time everyone has had breakfast, gotten dressed (in the basics to start) and brushed their teeth. Then it’s time to gauge how cold it is by looking out the window and seeing what other people are wearing or simply sticking your head out the window. This way we can decide how many pairs of pants to put on the children, which jackets to wear and if they need an extra jumper and their beanies, scarves and gloves.  Then it is time for everyone to put on their boots and to put on the children’s beanies, jackets, scarves and gloves one-by-one. I learnt the hard way to dress my youngest last, otherwise by the time we are finished, he has already taken everything off because he is hot inside. Then it’s time to head on out the door and then begins the ultimate battle of wills as we try to keep the children from stripping off because they are hot on whatever form of public transport we happen to be on. I completely understand how the children feel, sometimes the heater on the bus or tram is cranked so high, you would still be warm and toasty in a singlet and shorts, but it takes so long to get each of them dressed that taking off their beanies, scarves and things for the few moments we are on there is simply not an option, no matter how much of a cranky face my three-year-old pulls.

Another thing you don’t consider is going shopping with three children, again the heater in the shopping centres is cranked to the max and given the time it takes to shop with three children, this is the time when they are allowed to take off their “winter woolies”. However, with my husband and I included, that equates to a trolley full of jackets, scarves and the rest and we end up getting two trolleys just to do a little shopping.

So, unless it is raining or blowing gale forced winds, our chilly travels as a family of five usually consist of a minimal amount of travel combined with outdoor activities that all can enjoy with our “winter woolies” to keep us warm.

Despite the difficulties of travelling in winter with three children, I can say that if I had to choose between winter and summer, I would still choose winter every time.

On another note, we are already 7 days into this month and I have only written 1,000 words out of the 8,000 I am supposed to write by the end of the month. I’m procrastinating again, somebody please come and kick my arse and tell me to write this bloody story!

Enjoy,

KK

 

 

© Katherine A. Kovács and The Writer Within, (2013-2016). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Katherine A. Kovács and The Writer Within with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.