This week I have been a little restless, I was still experiencing writer’s block on my current work in progress and couldn’t figure out why I was feeling so uninspired and uninteresting in working on it. After research, thought and a great conversation with a dear friend (you know who you are) I have finally figured out what was bothering me. I could not connect with one of my main characters, I feel a strong connection with Thomas and I am beginning to understand what makes this man, but I didn’t feel as strong of a connection with my other main character, who was called Margaret or Maggie. I say WAS called as now I have realised what was wrong, her name was not Margaret, I have since figured out her name is Rose. Since making this change I wrote an entire page in less than five minutes and have made a lot more discoveries about my main characters.
Today I am going to share with you a section of a journal entry from Thomas that I wrote today, again remember it is raw and unedited as I have only just written it.
December 14th, 1932
Well here I am, travelling to a country I do not know, to claim the inheritance of an uncle whom I’ve never met. Everything is changing, I feel like everything is out of my control, I feel the darkness of my past creeping in, but there is a light keeping it at bay, that light is Rosie. She was the one who suggested that I keep a journal as I’ve always had difficulty in handling anything emotional; I bury my feelings deep inside, hoping that they will either go away or stay buried. Perhaps it’s because my grandmother always kept me at arm’s length after my parents’ passing. In the world of Agnes Heath, you grieve the death of a loved one for the socially acceptable period of time and then you carry on with life as though it never happened, you do not reminisce or discuss fond memories and you especially do not discuss the torment and depression of losing someone so close to you.
Rosie is the first person I have really been able to speak to about my parents and my troubled past. She does not judge or look down upon me, some of the things I have done I am not proud of and would rather forget, but Rosie understands me, better than I understand myself even. She knows that the darkness of my past was in a different time and I was a different person yet she still understands that what happened to me in the past, the things that I did, make me the man I am today, the man that for some reason she loves and I am thankful for this each and every day.
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